Acceptance is a space of recognition about who we are and what we have

How would you describe what it means to be resilient?

It's a common misconception to be thinking about positive psychology, as something, that works just for good times or a privilege for people whose lives are only in a good state.

But, it's really obviously not the case, it's. Positive emotions aren't even fair weather friends. We can experience positive emotions even when we're dealing with great difficulties.

So let´s reflects about resilience. What does it mean to be resilient?

When I think about resilience, I kind of think of that ability to bounce back after something bad happens to us. And in the same way the ability that we have to discover a plan to take this unfortunate situation and change the way we feel about it and find a way to get through that,  in some way kind of take that and bounce back, transforming the negative energy in an opportunity to learn something in our life to create a positive aspect of it.

When we're facing tough times at work grieving, or we are upset about other things. it´s becomes a really vital capacity for all humans.

And, sometimes it can seem that while some people are resilient, and others aren't.

But, in fact, resilience is one of these resources that can grow inside us, it is with us. Like a muscle that we can train and build.

Positive emotions are a big piece of what enables resilience, but also what builds resilience.

Positive emotions have the ability to recover the soul, heal wounds and harmonize the mind.

In difficult situations, situations of pain, memories of positive things are those that help us recover and sometimes the light that keeps us on the right path.

What is an appropriate or viable way to introduce something positive, either for yourself or for someone else? To think ... To take some time to reflect on ourselves and with ourselves. About everything we are and what we have. Accept us and accept the life we ​​have. Believe in us and in what we are capable of achieving. Feel gratitude with life, and find a purpose to everything that happens to us.

All are experiences, experiences that lead us to something deeper. Something that in some way will give us a lesson in life and allow us to transform our version of ourselves to something beyond.

Start thinking about the blessings in your life or just good things that are happening in your life.

So a lot of times it´s those quieter, simple positive emotions are  those that can fit, and, however difficult it may seem, there is no more certain thing, one of the things that I think is true of any difficult situation. Even in difficult situations, is that, you know, this too shall pass.

Although the pain lasts, the difficulty remains for a long time. The truth is that it will be in constant change and every moment we must think about how to face every day with each difficulty and find a way to diminish even little by little the pain, or frustration through acceptance and learning.

Everything’s changing all the time.

Another aspect that we have to face with is that we are not alone. We tend to think that our negative experiences are just ours, our burden alone. But if we back up, and think well, we will know that, others have grieved. And we can learn from how, or recognize that, the connection that we have with others in whatever difficulty, we face, we're not the first ones to face it. So I mean, even just kind of reminding that those are kind of like, in our back pocket ways to recognize the companionship we have and the connection that we have with others and use it in a lot of different circumstances.

Now work in my research I found that in the lab of the North Carolina University, one of their early studies on resilience was after the terrorist attacks of 9/11 in the United States.

Where they found that the more positive emotions people felt, in the days right after 9/11 predicted whether they bounced back in terms of avoiding excessive depressive symptoms, everybody's feeling angry and sad and uncertain and afraid. But, what resilient people do is in that mix of the negative emotions, they're also feeling inspired and hopeful and engaged and connected, drawing other people closer.

What we see is that resilient people are worrying less, bracing less, rebounding quicker, and mentally, they just taking the moment as it is. So one of the things that goes along with resilience is this really good discernment about what the positive and negatives are in the situations. Not projecting negativity, into a neutral situation. So like having that attunement to be able to separate out what’s truly neutral or what's truly positive.

So, if you think you're not particularly resilient now, you actually can become more resilient next season by the diet of positive emotions that you experience today. Because there's definitely this upward spiral dynamic between positive emotions and resilience, the more resilient you are the better, able you are to find positive emotions. Or cultivate them and then the more that you cultivate them the more you build your resilience, so that it builds from there. 

One of the nice kind of closing images about resilience I like to keep in mind is: resilience is not about sweeping away the negative it's just kind of meeting the negative with, some positive things.

Be aware, this is no spectator sport. Each of us faces adversity, or the tug of a downward spiral every so often. And I'd like to invite you to begin to experiment with ways to inject more positive emotions into such difficult moments.